xiao sick

Dont feel comfortable today. Verge of vomitting this morning. Hard to breathe. Sigh, I don't want to depend on the inhaler.. yet im using now.. guess i need to run more, to train up my stamina again!

My?

I kinda miss my shabu.

Go class sioh

Omgggg. Finally saw my ec in class!!! Hahahas still look so dumb and handsome. Lol. 😂😂😂😂😂

难得 I come 830am lesson siaaaaa. Just because I dw watch recorded. LOL. So God gave me this gift. AHHAHAH. 😊

:(

Maybe its too stress or what. I just cant control my emotions. Throwing temprr everywhere. Vulgarities for sure. Crying non stop for no reason. I dont like it. I really dont like it. Fuck la. Still got so many things to do. Fuck. I dw do. Tmr midterm but I really cannot. After that, still got lab report. 2 midterms. Projects. Finals. FUCK I NEED TO BREAK. WHY GOT SO MANY THINGS TO DO BUT I JUST CANT FOCUS. WHATS WRONG WITH YOU XX. WHATS WRONG. WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU. YOU USED TO HANDLE WELL WITH STRESS. WHY NOT NOW. FUCK LA. FUCK YEAR 3. FUCK SCHOOL.

張智霖－祝君好

OMG.. Just finished watching the 澳­門街 drama.. a very famous and enlightment hk drama back then.. I swear, I cried badly every episode.. Yeah, I must be crazy.. But its really very sad and touching.. The feeling is like, he really love the girl from young, is part of his life, yet, they can't be together, because he knows he is unable to give her happiness and future despite him able to talk after so much obstacles in his life.. No matter how heartbreaking he is, he tried all his ways to let her be happy, even as to let her be with another guy (steven ma).. omg.. I watch until I really dam heart pain.. is there any guy that is able to do that? So big heart.. So love her.. I know, the drama ending sucks because they can't be together.. but I really hope the movie 十月初五的月光 they can be together... like PLEASE...

Hearing him sing this song live,  I ALSO CRY. WTF. 

But see the difference, hahahas, drama 15 years ago, he was dam young and round. 15 years later, now old already, not round le, but still dam cute. hahahahahhas. 

FUCK. IM REALLY EXCITED FOR THE MOVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. FASTER COME OUT OKAY. I NEED TO WATCH ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. :) 

ANNOYEDDDDDDD

Dammmmm farrrrrrr sia. Singapore so far. Omg. Far until I want to laugh. So annoyed. Whatever la. None of my business.

Sian la. Dam sick of quantum already. Just finish spectro part only. Still need to do the tutorial question. 1.5/9 done. Gg. Why so stress. Why cant de-stress? Sian. Stress until I want cry already. Fuck sia. Sibei no mood and motivation to study la. Knn. So annoyed. ANNOYED. 😡😡😡

I WANT KILL PEOPLE. 😭

OVERSEAS STUDY CAN?

Hmm.. I want to go overseas to study, Gem-Explorer, for half a year. I really want to. Trying to find ways to do so now. So as to escape from Singapore. Yes, XX, you can do this.

Ringtone

Hawick gave Yang Mi de ringtone: 你的未来只有我，我的未来只有你，你是我的女友、我的老婆，我的孩子的妈，我老年的伴儿，我乔津帆今生来世都是你的，我爱你! Yang Mi gave Hawick de ringtone: 津帆，我爱你，真的很爱你，一生都爱你!


THUMBS UP TO MY IDOL HAWICK LAU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK SIA. I NEED THIS KIND OF HUSBAND HAHAHHAS.
IF CANNOT FIND, THEN BE SINGLE SUA.

Theres always many uncertainties in life. In my life, too. I think to think through again, if this is the right decision for me right now. I can't take any risk. I won't be. & I will NOT be. If there's anything making me likewise, I .. shall just continue to chase my idols (since they will always be there, with happiness, and not sadness & uncertainties). I wouldn't want to try again. No. I won't be, again. Not stupid to do that. Maybe right now is not the time for me. I should continue to focus on my studies. My path is still young and long for me to walk through myself.

Uncertanities

A lot of things to think through. Bye.

Fucked up life

Wake up, first thing is need study.
Go home also need to study.
Before sleep also think dao haven study finish.
Fuck up life.

Really mugging life.
XX the mugger.
Dieeeeeee.

Need some source of entertainment.
Where are you? To entertain me.
L

quote

A good relationship is when two people accept each other’s past, support each other’s present, and love each other enough to encourage each other’s future. So don’t rush love. Find a partner who encourages you to grow, who won’t cling to you, who will let you go out into the world, and trust that you will come back. This is what true love is all about, and it’s always worth the wait.

盛夏晚晴天 Episode 34

The part where I meant in my old post.. where I cried like shit over this scene.. Haish, so sad.. :(

So pain

Fuck my whole back body dam pain. Cant move a shit. Feel like the bone just disconnected by itself. Fuck. Dam pain my back.

Help....
Very pain....
Recently every night keep having this issue....
Fuck.
Need massage liao. Something is wrong with ny body. Too stiff or what?

!!!!

Why am I so angst over this issue? Is none of my business. I dont need to care so much right. Then why am I here, trying with all my heart to help? But yeah. I dont get appreciated. Its redundant. Usually I could be just ignore because I dont care. But why am I caring so much? It makes my heart ache. Slowly. A little bit. This feeling sucks. Like I said, stop caring for others. They dont appreciate at all. They dont. They choose to find to talk to those that they feel is more helpful to them, which are those fucking negative amnoying idiotic bastards and bitches. Whatever. Im not caring anymore. Not caring. Fuck this shit. Fuck you. Why did I enter your Life? Im getting out of here.

是歌吗还是自己的心在隐隐作痛。觉得心很酸，不喜欢这总感觉。有点流泪的feel。有点不开心。

爱不了，还是放手吧。～ 林峰

有人说，入睡前的最后想起的人是你最喜欢或让你最心痛的。。

Packed schedule

16 Oct - 3062 Lab Report 9
23 Oct - 3062 Proforma 1
26 Oct - 3041 Midterm
30 Oct - 3062 Lab Report 2
2 Nov - 9083 Midterm
3 Nov - 3011 Midterm
6 Nov - 3062 Proforma 3
7 Nov - 9001 Song
12 Nov - 9001 Quiz + Project + 3062 Proforma 4
19 Nov - 9001 Final Quiz
20 Nov - 3041 Finals
22 Nov - 9001 Essay
24 Nov - 9083 Finals
25 Nov - 3062 Finals
2 Dec - 3011 + 8005 Finals

刘恺威 - 盛夏的天空

HELLO. I got to introduce this theme song from the drama, 盛夏晚晴天! Why? Because it's my sexy idol sang it~~~ HEAR THIS VOICE. FUCK, SO DEEP AND HOT AND SEXY AND EMOTIONAL~~ :) SEE the "MV", aiseh aiseh, woohoo!!! So fit!!! :) 

曾 如果我们未遇见过
你是否还有另种生活
梦 长出了翅膀飞了多久
找到了另一颗心
才能安静地降落

原来海的尽头还有片天空
你始终牵着我的手
想停止漂泊 在遇见你以后
就让我静静陪着你一起感受

看天空 我为你挂满了云朵
相爱过 时间带不走我们的轮廓
要相信 爱是一种收获
一路上 你和我
还有好多的话想要对你说

我安静的守在你身后
你留给我最美的笑容
但我鼓起勇气牵你的手
来触摸我的心感受爱的厚重
想要与你厮守一直到最后
我眼中感动落了泪 
想停止漂泊 在遇见你以后
就让我静静陪着你一起感受

看天空 我为你挂满了云朵
相爱过 时间带不走我们的轮廓
要相信 爱是一种收获
一路上 你和我
还有好多的话想要对你说

看天空 我为你挂满了云朵
相爱过 时间带不走我们的轮廓
要相信 爱是一种收获
一路上 你和我
还有好多的话想要对你说

Waaaaaa. the lyrics really speaks what he wants to express to the girl in the drama!!!! Hope ending for the drama will be goooooooood! EGGCITED! Still left with few more episodes. Really thumbs up to the drama. Should watch it. Its a 100% awesome drama!!!! :) 

Even though, sadness and laughter from the drama. But its still worth it. Shouldn't we be experiencing all these in real life? Maybe. But I just want the sweet moment, thats all. Enough of all the sadness! POSITIVE! :) 

The Return of Cockoo - 十月初五的月光

澳門街, a Hong kong drama in 2000. Sad drama. O well. But the story plot is really nice, but without ending (thats when the movie version came out to summarize it...) 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Return_of_the_Cuckoo

15 years later, they met again. OMG, to show the movie and tata!! 十月初五的月光
OMG, the trailer the trailer. So much feels!!! Coming out on the 12 Novemember 2015 in Singapore.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Return_of_the_Cuckoo_(film)

祝君好  - 張智霖

听 你不断呼叫我
划破宁静 我的心下堕
在难过
讲不出 爱没结果
口和唇
紧紧闭锁

看 也一话都不说
害怕
连累你一生 日月憾无缺
只差跟你曾遇过
给过你太多波折

宁愿没拥抱
共你可到老
任由你来去自如在我心底仍爱慕
如若碰到
他比我好
只望停在远处祝君安好
虽不可亲口细诉

说
太多话我想说
但我还是要哑口道别
任由我
天空海阔流翔去
只要你白似冰雪

共你能够终老
多么想亲口
细诉

I still remembered I love this song so much!! Its like, the guy (文初) is mute.... he feels that he is not perfect for the girl (君好)... :( WHY SO SAD. LOL. TOO MUCH FEELS FOR THIS SONG AND THE DRAMA. NEED WATCH NEED WATCH AGAIN! MOVIE TO GO! MUST GET PEOPLE WATCH WITH ME! :) 

Hope this movie is way better than Triumph in the Skies Movie. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 

Die

1. 26 Oct - 3041 Midterm
2. 29 Oct - 9001 Song
3. 30 Oct - 3062 Lab Report
4. 2 Nov - 9083 Midterm
5. 3 Nov - 3011 Midterm
6. 12 Nov - 9001 Quiz + Project
7. 19 Nov - 9001 Final Quiz
8. 20 Nov - 3041 Finals
9. 22 Nov - 9001 Essay
10. 24 Nov - 9083 Finals
11. 25 Nov - 3062 Finals
12. 2 Dec - 3011 + 8005 Finals

Uni so scary.
Still lagging behind.
Fuck school.
Need a break. But no kit kat.

Why?

Why couldnt control my emotions?
Why am I acting so childish again?
Why?
Why?
Why?

Zzz

Fucking annoyed. Cannot stand this pattern. Fuck up. Bye.

解脱

后来 我才明白
有些事你只对朋友说
我和你 就像天和地
你是云 天上飞
而我的泪水地成了河

像是好遥远哦，我也明白了。
放手吧，让自己的心开始新的解脱，新的开始，让该来的爱人来吧。

但，我还是怕怕的。真的。:

Why

Sometimes,  I don't understand what am I thinking about actually. Why do I feel this way? Why do I feel angst, worried, anxious, weird over all of these? So annoying.

Travel to kl.

Different feeling when going overseas with friends and colleagues.

To airport ~

On the way to airport...
Whenever flying off, theres always a lot of thoughts in my mind running through... If today is my last day of living my life, who will I think or worry about? Who will be the last one in my mind? Could it be you? :)

All the best in everything.
I will be safe back.

Bye singapore

Going to fly to KL soon~
Who will miss me when im gone?
I wonder.

Fuck

Phelgm stuck in my throat. No air comes in. Fuck you. I almost rip. Im serious.

Kill me

Sick in bed. Cough like shit. Breathe like some mad dog. Fuck.

我真的很爱你。我真的很舍不得你。很不想离开你

Omg now the drama so sad... They broke up.. Fuck can feel the real feelings of theirs when they quarrel and tear... :( omg he tear, I fucking hell cry like shit... :( omg.....

He said "我真的很爱你。我真的很舍不得你。很不想离开你"
she said "下辈子我只会认出你，和你在一起"

Fuck.... I cry like dog... Cant stop my tears flowing... 最痛苦的爱情莫过于这种爱着对方但不能在一起，只能默默的守护对方，远远的看着对方。

Then the scene when he shouted at the yacht that he dont want anybody, not his family, because of him being a tool in the family, he just want her.. Can see he really scream form his bottom of his heart... Whole face red.. And he teared... & the part where he told yang mi, he really love her so badly, really want to be with her, really dont bear to leave her, dont want to leave her..  Hais... And they kissed... But they tear like shit!!!!! :(((((

Why so sad!!!!
Sigh...
Cant control my emotions now...
Depressed mode...
T T

Fuck

Fuck sia. I dont want eat medicine. Eat le also still the same. No, worst, shiver like still. Fuck sia. Then I freaking hell cant sleep at night, I need some oxygen tank. 😣😣

啊

当生病时就会知道到底谁才会关心你的。。。好残忍啊。。。但这是事实。。。寂寞的心灵总会留在最低的心里，不让人知。就好好的活着这个寂寞的生活吧。

Woohoo~

O. His birthday is coming. Just realised he is a libra~~~~~~~~~~~ 😍😍😍😍😍 hah. Handsome. Sexy voice. All ticked. 😘😁😁😁

Quote

Got this quote from my blog 

Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives

~~

Some thoughts in my mind... 

running through my mind...

been awhile thinking...

Is it me or you?

Just felt different since that day... So not you LOL...

Seems more mature. LOL.

K i think i should take back my words.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

HI XX.

SAY BYEBYE TO YOUR EC.

HE NOT TAKING SENGKANG SHUTTLE BUS LIAO.

K BYE. 

:<

No fate. :) 

Whenever sick, fucking no appetite. -.-

& my nose like tap water. LOL. FUCK SIA.  

Sick .

Most hated thing is "falling ill".
Seriously, there's so many things to do, & i'm falling sick at this crucial moment. CRIES.
I want to rest, but I got no time to do so!!!!. :(
FUCK SIA. Yesterday fever, today high fever. SIMI SAI. Shouldn't I suppose to recover and get better? :(

I NEED A BREAK.
I NEED TO SLEEP.
I NEED TO STUDY.
I NEED TO CHILL.
CALM DOWN XX.

I need a listening ear.
I need a company.
I need a hug.

I feel like dying. Pain die me. T_T

How?

Using work to numb my heart, for a year already. Doesn't seem to work. What is the alternative then?

Westlife - I need you

Baby,baby,

I swear to you,

Baby,baby, 

I'm here for you,

I don't know why,

why i did those things to you,

what went through my mind,

And i don't know why,

why i broke your heart in two,

guess that i was blind,

Baby how i wish you could forgive me,

just one more time,baby...

And i swear,

I'll be there,

anytime you want me to,

I'll be true,

here for you,

Don't leave me lonely,

cause i need you,

Guess i've been a fool,

Now i can see the price to pay,

I can't run and hide,

Cause i'm loosing you,

and my chances slipped away,

with each time i lied,

Baby how i wish you could forgive me,

One more time, 

oh yeah

And i swear,(and i swear)

I'll be there,(i'll be there)

anytime you want me to,

yeah,

I'll be true(i'll be true)

here for you,

Don't leave me lonely,

cause i need you,

Baby, 

Living without you,

will tear me apart,

When i know how it could have been,

But i don't care what it leads to,

let's make a new start,

and give love a chance to win,

cause,baby i swear,

Baby,baby, 

I swear to you,

anytime you want me to,

Yes i swear,

Baby, baby,

I'm here for you,

don't leave me lonely,

Cause i need you, (i need you)

And i swear,

I'll be there,

anytime you want me to,

yeah,

I'll be true,

here for you,

Don't leave me lonely,

Cause i need you, (cause i need you)

And i swear,(you know i'll be) 

I'll be there,(i will be there)

(i swear) I'll be true,(i will be true)

Don't leave me lonely,

Cause i need you,

Yes baby i need you.......

Shall be using this song for my sign language project!!! This song is nice toooooooo. :) 

I don't know who will the one, that is my future guy that will be there for me both good and bad times, caring for me, treating me as of importance, providing a sense of security and assurance, telling me, all is fine, you got me, everything just depend on me. I'm just a woman. I'm strong. But, I always feel that I need just one guy that takes care of me, but reality turned me to be strong in war, doing all by myself, not depending on others. Could it be a good thing or no?

I received this question, stop dwelling over the past, embrace the present and future. Maybe the 7th one is your future one. As you have said, its a "Maybe" answer... It could be the right one, or another piece of bastard again. Dont you think so? Are guys even mature enough to handle all these? Why keep playing? Girls are just pieces of toys for you all? O well. 

:/

麻痹像是唯一的solution

Sleep?? So hard...

So everytime I cant sleep.
I just listen to songs till next day.

Cold

Just feel so cold. So cold. So cold.
Stop it stop it stop it.
I still cant.
Cant do anything about it. But cry.
I cant help myself. Nobody can too.
Is my problem.
Wasting my tears.
What am I doing????
Why.    

Well. Nobody knows. Nobody cares. Even if you do, you cant do anything about it. I cant even help myself. Cant solve this issue. How?

;(

Very tired but I cant sleep. Just feel sad. N cry. For no reason. Nobody seems to understand me. Well. Not even myself. I dont know what I want either.  :( can someone heal me? I thought I was okay already. Maybe not. I hate it.