Tears

Now. Every night. I cry myself to sleep, hoping the next day I will feel better and work things out. But its just got worst.

Everyday, I ponder, if that car just bang me. If I just slip to death. If my head bang and bled till death. If the knife stab me into pieces. If I can just leave the world. Will it be better? Why when I tried to attempt to meet death, but im still here. Why?

What am I thinking about? Why I really want? What the God wants me to do? Im very tired. Enough of the obstacles that you put me through every year, every month, every week, every hour, every minute, every second. I had enough. I dont want to always face all this. I just want a normal life. Why you cant give me that? Why you cant? Why you just want to see me so miserable everyday? Why.....

Who to talk to.
Who dares to listen.
Who willing to understand me.
Who wants to help me.

No one. But yourself.
But I cant even face this myself. Can I avoid the whole world now? Can I? I cant. Exams exams exams. Stepping into the exam hall without any preparation just makes me fear.... Fear.... Fear....